Hi Amira

I really hope you don't mind me putting this here, but it was a combination of the title of this thread and the World Cup going on at the moment that made me think of this.

There used to be a TV presenter in the UK called David Coleman who made some real classics. They were always referred to as Coleman Balls.

I've found some for you and am pasting them below along with some other daft sports comments.
Enjoy!


[I]Sports commentators can get carried away sometimes.... David Coleman, a famed English SPORTS COMMENTATOR, seems to get carried away more than most - here are some of his best moments.

That's the fastest time ever run - but it's not as fast as the world record.

Don't tell those coming in the final result of that fantastic match, but let's just have another look at Italy's winning goal.

For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2.

This is a truly international field, no Britons involved.

Both of the Villa scorers - Withe and Mortimer - were born in Liverpool as was the Villa manager Ron Saunders who was born in Birkenhead.

He's 31 this year - last year he was 30.

He won the bronze medal in the 1976 Olympics so he's used to being out in front.

We estimate, and this isn't an estimation, that Greta Waltz is 80 seconds behind.

Linford Christie's got a habit of pulling it out when it matters most.

The late start is due to the time.

He's got his hands on his knees and holds his head in despair.

He's even smaller in real life than he is on the track.

This could be a repeat of what will happen in the European games next week.

It's a battle with himself and with the ticking fingers of the clock.

Here are some names to look forward to - perhaps in the future.

In the Moscow Olympics Lasse Viren came in fifth and ran a champions race.

He just can't believe what's not happening to him.

One of the great unknown champions because very little is known about him.

There'll be only one winner now - in every sense.

He is accelerating all the time. The last lap was run in 64 seconds and the one before that in 62.

The big Cuban opened his legs and showed his class.

(At the velodrome) The front wheel crosses the fininsh line, closely followed by the back wheel.


Here are some of the foolish things that various FOOTBALL COMMENTATORS have uttered, and later wished they hadn't.....

"And there's Ray Clemence looking as cool as ever out in the cold." (JIMMY HILL)

"....and the news from Guadalajara where the temperature is 96 degrees, is that Falcao is warming up." (BRIAN MOORE)

"If history is going to repeat itself I should think we can expect the same thing again." (TERRY VENABLES)

"I'm not a believer in luck..... but I do believe you need it." (ALAN BALL)

"The Uruguayans are losing no time in making a meal around the referee." (MIKE INGHAM)

"I think that was a moment of cool panic there." (RON ATKINSON)

"Beckenbauer really has gambled all his eggs." (RON ATKINSON)

"Celtic manager Davie Hay still has a fresh pair of legs up his sleeve." (JOHN GREIG)

"I spent four indifferent years at Goodison Park, but they were great years." (MARTIN HODGE)

"Souness gave Fleck a second chance and he grabbed it with both feet." (JAMES SANDERSON)

"They have missed so many chances they must be wringing their heads in shame." (RON GREENWOOD)

"It's headed away by John Clark, using his head." (DEREK RAE)

"Tottenham are trying tonight to become the first London team to win this Cup. The last team to do so was the 1973 Spurs side." (MIKE INGHAM)

"He's very fast and if he gets a yard ahead of himself nobody will catch him." (BOBBY ROBSON)

"The shot from Laws was precise but wide." (ALAN PARRY)

"The game is balanced in Arsenal's favour." (JOHN MOTSON)

"Merseyside derbies usually last 90 minutes and I'm sure today's won't be any different." (TREVOR BROOKING)

"Many clubs have a question mark in the shape of an axe-head hanging over them." (MALCOLM McDONALD)

"Tottenham have impressed me. They haven't thrown in the towel even though they have been under the gun." (BOBBY CHARLTON)

You have got to miss them to score sometimes." (DAVE BASSETT)

"Dumbarton player Steve McCahill has limped off with a badly cut forehead." (TOM FERRIE)

"A contract on a piece of paper, saying you want to leave, is like a piece of paper saying you want to leave." (JOHN HOLLINS)

"And I honestly believe we can go all the way to Wembley......unless somebody knocks us out." (DAVE BASSETT)

"It was that game that put the Everton ship back on the road." (ALAN GREEN)

"And Arsenal now have plenty of time to dictate the last few seconds." (PETER JONES)

"Bobby Robson must be thinking of throwing some fresh legs on." (KEVIN KEEGAN)

"What makes this game so delightful is that when both teams get the ball they are attacking their opponents goal." (JIMMY HILL)

"Celtic were at one time nine points ahead, but somewhere along the road, their ship went off the rails." (RICHARD PARK)

"That's football, Mike, Northern Ireland have had several chances and haven't scored but England have had no chances and scored twice." (TREVOR BROOKING)

"...and so they have not been able to improve their 100% record." (SPORTS ROUNDUP)

"In terms of the Richter Scale this defeat was a force eight gale." (JOHN LYALL)

"In comparison, there's no comparison." (RON GREENWOOD)

"I would also think that the action replay showed it to be worse than it actually was." (RON ATKINSON)

"The new West Stand casts a giant shadow over the entire pitch, even on a sunny day." (CHRIS JONES, Evening Standard)

"What will you do when you leave football, Jack -- will you stay in football?" (STUART HALL, Radio 5 Live)

"Unfortunately, we keep kicking ourselves in the foot." (RAY WILKINS, speaking on BBC1)

"I've got a gut feeling in my stomach..." (ALAN SUGAR, speaking on BBC1)

"I would not say he [David Ginola] is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better." (RON AKTINSON in a TV interview)

"Johnson has revelled in the 'hole' behind Dwight Yorke..." (Carling FA Premiership WWW Page)

"An inch or two either side of the post and that would have been a goal." (DAVE BASSETT, speaking on Sky Sports)

"Both sides have scored a couple of goals, and both sides have conceded a couple of goals." (PETER WITHE, speaking on Radio 5 Live)

"You don't score 64 goals in 86 games at the highest level without being able to score goals." (ALAN GREEN, speaking on Radio 5 Live)

"What's it like being in Bethlehem, the place where Christmas began? I suppose it's like seeing Ian Wright at Arsenal...." (SIMON FANSHAWE, speaking on Talk Radio)

"And we all know that in football if you stand still you go backwards..." (PETER REID, Tyne Tees Sport Special)

"I was saying the other day, how often the most vulnerable area for goalies is between their legs..." (ANDY GRAY, Sky Sports)

"The lad got over-excited when he saw the whites of the goalpost's eyes." (STEVE COPPELL, Radio 5 Live)

"They [Rosenborg] have won 66 games, and they've scored in all of them." (BRIAN MOORE, ITV)

"If you can't stand the heat in the dressing-room, get out of the kitchen." (TERRY VENABLES, Capital Gold)

"The lads really ran their socks into the ground." (ALEX FERGUSON)

"He [Brian Laudrup] wasn't just facing one defender -- he was facing one at the front and one at the back as well." (TREVOR STEVEN, STV)

"It's now 1-1, an exact reversal of the score on Saturday." (Radio 5 Live)

"...but Arsenal are quick to credit Bergkamp with laying on 75% of their nine goals." (TONY GUBBA, BBC Match of the Day)

"...an excellent player, but he [Ian Wright] does have a black side." (GARY LINEKER, BBC)

"We say 'educated left foot'... of course, there are many players with educated right foots." (RON JONES, Radio 5 Live)

"That's twice now he [Terry Phelan] has got between himself and the goal." (BRIAN MARWOOD, Radio 5 Live)

"Mark Hughes at his very best: he loves to feel people right behind him..." (KEVIN KEEGAN)

"Football today, it's like a game of chess. It's all about money." (NEWCASTLE UNITED FAN, Radio 5 Live)

Gary always weighed up his options, especially when he had no choice." (KEVIN KEEGAN, Radio 5 Live)

"We threw our dice into the ring and turned up trumps." (BRUCE RIOCH, ITV)

"And I suppose they [Spurs] are nearer to being out of the FA Cup now than any other time since the first half of this Cup now than any other time since the first half of this season, when they weren't ever in it anyway." (JOHN MOTSON, BBC)

"... and he crosses the line with the ball almost mesmerically tied to his foot with a ball of string..." (IAN DARKE, Radio 5)

"I never make predictions and I never will." (PAUL GASCOIGNE)
[/I]

Karen

[Updated on: Thu, 24 June 2010 20:04]

[Updated on: Thu, 24 June 2010 23:44]